Saturday, August 14, 2010

Leaving...



What is life but a series of vivid moments that we share with one another, that stay with us for a lifetime and that define the characters that we ultimately become.  The last few weeks have been filled with such moments, and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to leave Canada yet again.  A perfect, romance-filled night at the hot springs, with the high-tide rushing into our stony, steaming, candle-lit pools; jumping from an old wooden bridge into the depths of a sweet tasting fresh water lake on a hot sunny day; epic waves at the same beach that I spent the summer teaching others the ways of the surf.  I leave Tofino now, taking with me only my few belongings and those vivid memories etched into my mind for good.

Only when you lose something do you come to realize what exactly you had in the first place.  Be it good or bad, it always becomes clearer in retrospect.  Life is a constant struggle for each one of us to find what makes us most happy, but our levels of devotion to that pursuit of happiness vary.  My devotion is unwavering, and as I continue to move freely seeking out new and interesting experiences around the world, I find it difficult to finally admit to satisfaction, if only out of the fear of missing out on whatever comes next.  It is only at times like this however, as I move on to something completely new, do I truly question my decisions and anguish at the thought that I had already found exactly what I was looking for, and that I left it behind.

I often wonder what is worth more to me, the comfort that comes from commitment and community, or that which may be derived from the free-moving, independent lifestyle.  Such is the traveler’s dilemma.  Do I stay or do I go?  That sense of insulating comfort that comes with the sedentary lifestyle is strong, and it captures us with relationships and steady jobs.  But it is often a false sense of comfort, and for many it ultimately brings regret and unhappiness.  There are those of us that find comfort in something else completely; we find comfort in the unknown, in the fact that tomorrow may bring something completely new and different, and that we may take our lives to any place and in any direction we so choose, no matter how ambitious that path may seem. 

I’ll be leaving Tofino heading to Cranbrook, deep in the Rocky Mountains where I’ll spend five days.  After that I'll spend two nights in Vancouver and then off to Ecuador for six months.  My situation has not availed me the opportunity to visit my home city before leaving, and it will not be until next spring that I will see my family and friends again.  This is undoubtedly one of the hardest things about leading this life of mine.  The people that I grew up with, who know me through and through, are constantly slipping away and those new people that I meet along the road are all fleeting just the same.  People constantly come and go, nothing is constant except change itself.  It is difficult for me to address all the different people in my life, especially because they are constantly changing.  But if you are reading this, and you have not heard from me lately, know that you have a place in my heart, and that those moments that we shared together are a part of who we both are today. 

1 comment:

Dr. Giselle ND said...

Awww Persaud, we are glad we get you for a couple of days. Here to your next adventure.